Demigod Torture
by ZuriaMaylin-MoreSincereThanMax
Summary: My friends and I get all off topic and random and you give us stuff to do. Episode 1 has Octagon! T 'cause I have weird friends.
1. Episode 1 Octagon and D'Ablo

Here is something me and my good pal, Silena Riva, have been working on. I have to thank whoever thought of DocX, and I have no idea who she'd thank, but I'll put her appreciation in here.

Zuria: So here is DEMIGOD TORTURE! Where my best pals and I torture demigods, mortals, gods, creatures, and magicians. NO ONE IS SAFE FROM ZURIA!

ABC: Ain't that the truth!

Silena Riva: Then… Wouldn't it be called "DEMIGOD, MORTAL, GOD, CREATURE, AND MAGICIAN TORTURE!"? Not just "DEMIGOD TORTURE!"?

Morgie: (snicker)

Zuria: (muttering under breath) It's like trying to keep a million ping pong balls underwater at the same time.

ABC: So, Zuria, what are we doing first?

Zuria: I'm pretty sure the masses… you fans who better give me ideas for victims… would like me to do OCTAVIAN!

Morgie: Yeah! And who's our guest star this week?

Zuria: Umm… since we have no fans for the first episode… let's do… POCKET!

ABC: Pocket? Who's Pocket?

Silena Riva: Zuria's imaginary friend. (face-palm) I knew this would happen…

Zuria: Hey!

Pocket: (pops up, the adorable-sorry, girl, you're cute-fashionista she is)

Silena Riva: (looks confused) OH! Hi (BLEEP!)

Morgie: Riv! Don't say her actual name! You never know who could be monitoring us right now!

Silena Riva: Oops! Sorry (BLEEP!). Styx! Sorry. Thank gods for the whole (BLEEP) thing.

Zuria: Okaaay… Hey! Layered shirts over a mini and leggings! Nice!

Pocket: Zuria. I need to talk to you.

Zuria: Fine. (whispers in the back with Pocket)

ABC: So, Octavian. Do you realize where we are?

Octagon: Um…no.

Silena Riva: Dumba$$.

Octagon: Hey!

Morgie: HEY ZURIA! I LOVE HIS NICKNAME!

Zuria: Trying to talk to Pocket here!

Octagon: No, seriously. (sneaks a cautious glance at Silena Riva) Where am I?

ABC: You're in my soundproof basement. To watch us play.

Zuria: Um…-

Silena Riva: Sorry Z. One moment please? (looks at Zuria, who nods) Are you really that thick, Octavian? Doesn't this room look sorta…. basementy? Sorry Z. Continue.

Zuria: Um… there are several issues with the playing thing. Riv's missing her guitar! And her bass! Morgie's missing her drums! I'm missing… wait, Ravenclaw's diadEM has my instrument. And we're missing about half the band-alright, fine, one third of the band-the vital third!

ABC: Oh, so I'm not vital?

Zuria: Actually, you are. We're all an essential part of this band. ABC, acoustic guitar-you actually know chords. Riv-you are literally the only one who knows anything about music. Morgie, drums-you play drums; I don't know anyone else who does that. Vichic (Pocket's new name), our roadie-you give me something to write songs about, which is why my standard song is_CRAZY!_No, I mean, that's actually the name of the song. Ravenclaw's diadEM, singer-you have my instrument AND you got us a gig in February. Me, other singer-I'm the organizer; without me, this band would be up a creek with less than no paddle. TSHM, electric guitar-first of all, lol, second of all… um… when I talk you actually understand me.

Octagon: Umm…. I thought you were going to torture me...? Not that I'm complaining at the lack of torture around here…

Silena Riva: We'll get there… But thanks for reminding me! (smiles at Octavian's groan)

ABC: (standing there with a vacant expression)

Zuria: I think the emotional intent of that message was lost on ABC.

Silena Riva: No…. But I _told_you she had the emotional range of a teaspoon!

Morgie: No, she just dazed off again.

Vichic: (snaps fingers under ABC's nose)

ABC: Wha?

Zuria: On with the torture! Morgie! Bring it out!

Morgie: (daughter of Hephaestus -wouldn't you know it?- brings out her new and improved OTHER CHARACTER 5001!)

Zuria: Ooh! So what are we bringing out now?

ABC: Um… let's do Snape!

Silena Riva: Yeah! Snape! Or a boggart? Oh! Lupin!

Zuria: Nah, too cliché. Hey, Riv, when are we doing that live recreation of the Mysterious Ticking Noise? And remember Voldie's laugh on the sped-up version? CHIPMUNK!

Silena Riva: Um… good question. I dunno. We're getting off-target. _Again._

Zuria: Right. So, what are we doing?

Tanning Salons Hate Me: Um…Z, remember that book series I loaned you?

Zuria: Yeah? Do you have it with you? Third or fourth would be best.

Tanning Salons Hate Me: (quoting the book) Kind of like a mosquito-annoying, but of no real threat to me.

Zuria: (quoting the book) You had it easy. Some guy kept trying to poke me with a toothpick.

Zuria and TSHM: (fall over laughing)

Silena Riva: Umm….. What? You're off topic _AGAIN!_Gods, you're more distracted than a daughter of Aphrodite in a shoe store!

Zuria: Lol, SR. You don't seem to get that I am ALWAYS off topic. It's a curse. Anyways, it's a Vladimir Todd book. The fourth one. I can't remember what it's called. I kinda don't care. But anyways… DO IT, MORGIE!

Morgie: Can I have my assistant do it? I haven't even done a test run on it!

Vichic: Oh, just because I'm the roadie. I have to do all the hard stuff.

Zuria: Uh, yeah! (gives the cutie a hug) I don't mean that.

Vichic: I'm aware. Because if you did, you CLEARLY wouldn't want to get hyped up on all the stuff we did at summer camp again at winter camp.

Zuria: You mean the gummy bears? The skittles? The root beer? The chocolate cake? The chocolate-cake-in-the-root-beer? Or the flash mob?

Vichic: All of the above.

Zuria: Tee-hee. This will be hilarious. And then we're staying up to three to write a book?

Vichic: One that I will never give back when you give me the first ten chapters? Yeah.

Silena Riva: Then why would she give them to you? Now that she knows your plan.

Zuria: Um…well…I kinda did get it back…after three months…and then I was on vacation so she gave it to you and ABC…who wrote extensive reviews on paper! (Love you guys!) When will you do that, Poc—I mean Vichic?

Vichic: NEVER!

Zuria: Whatev. Fire it up, Morgie!

Silena Riva: Finally! It's demigod-frying time!

Octagon: (whimpers pathetically)

_So what happens next? It's up to you viewers to tell. I WON'T WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER 'TILL YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH D'ABLO AND OCTAVIAN!_


	2. Episode 2 Octagon Percy and AntiTooth

Guess what happened since the last episode? I went to a Christmas party with Silena River, Morgie, ABC, Vichic, and TSHM, and Silena River and I started planning out the next episodes, including that bit about the chairs. Then we went to Winter Camp together, came up with several new inside jokes (lol, (=2 why is he smiling again?) that you will have to sit through! Now we have a VERY basic plan for the entire season! Come on! Review, peeps! This episode was written by Silena Riva!

Zuria: We still have no special guest (seeing as how Devil of the Mist hasn't replied to my thing yet… darn you, DotM!)… So we will welcome back Vichic and a new guest….. Fire it up, Morgie!

Morgie: Got it! (Fires the OTHER CHARACTER 5001)

_The lights flash dramatically and the studio shakes furiously with the help of Earthshaker. A mushroom cloud of smothering golden smoke erupts from the spot Morgie is aiming the OTHER CHARACTER 5001 at. The smoke sends Octagon into a coughing frenzy as he struggles to inhale through the smoke. The others, however, are completely unaffected. The smoke thins and a very large boarhound bounds toward Zuria, who opens spreads her arms in a welcoming gesture._

Zuria: Hey Ari! Welcome to DEMIGOD-

Silena Riva: -MORTAL, GOD, CREATURE, AND MAGICIAN-

Zuria: -TORTURE! (glares at Silena)

Silena Riva: Dmm!t, it didn't fry him.

Morgie: It wasn't supposed to fry him.

Octagon: (cough) Well, I'm glad it didn't fry me. But what (cough) was all that smoke for? (cough) Seems like a lot of trouble for a stupid dog.

ABC: Ari is not a stupid dog! I wouldn't know, I don't read that series. But I'm just guessing.

Tooth: (growls at Octavian, backing him into a corner)

Octagon: Hey! Uhm, where did this corner come from?

Zuria: This is our very own Room of Requirement. It provides anything we need. And we needed a corner for Tooth to back you into. So voila. (lol, you know one thing I would never say is "Voila". But I like it)

Tooth: (barks and moves toward Octavian, baring his teeth)

Octagon: Oh gods.

ABC: Oh my Zeus!

Storm: (flashes in) You called?

ABC: No. I meant "Oh my Zeus" like "Oh my gods".

Storm: Oh… right. I knew that… (flashes out)

ABC: As I was saying… I love Ari's nickname! And Zeus's too.

Storm: (flashes in) What?

ABC: Nothing!

Storm: (flashes out with an irritated look on his face)

Morgie: Who was that?

Zuria: Oh, I forgot. You're our only friend (other than Vichic) who has not read Percy Jackson. You're here for the Max Ride stuff. 'Cause you've probably read more than I have…

ABC: Remember when… (trails off, a vacant look covering her excited expression)

Silena Riva: Uhhmmmm…. ABC? Gods, she dazed off again.

Vichic: I got it. (snaps her fingers under ABC's nose)

ABC: (swats Vichic's hands away)

Silena Riva: Oh great. She's fighting back. I hate when this happens.

Zuria: ABC… wake up! (waves her hand in front of ABC's face) Percy Jackson! (Percy appears with a startled outburst)

ABC: (grabs Zuria's hand and twists her arm)

Zuria: Ow! Wow! Girl's got refl-ow! (yanks her arm away) OKAY, OKAY, I'M SORRY FOR PUSHING YOUR NERVE SPOT ON SUNDAY! GO EASY ON ME! I ONLY ESSENTIALLY PUT YOU "OUT OF COMMISSION" WITH THIS THUMB!

Octagon: (laughs)

Silena Riva: What? You think this is funny, punk?

Octagon: (shrinks into his corner) Uh, no. No, not at all?

Zuria: (off-topic, yet AGAIN) I will not touch, smell, taste, or breathe on the chairs. I will not move them under pain of death or the influence of the Imperius Curse. And if I do, Hylke will have Jeremiah sit on me.

Sprinklers: (looking up from a box of donuts)…Whaa?

Zuria: I will not, under any of even the direst circumstances, not even to save my life (or Hylke's), touch the chairs. So help me my leaders.

Silena Riva: I love middle school youth group Christmas parties. (picks up a chair and smashes Octagon with it, but he's fine, 'cause he's fictional) Anyway…(snaps fingers)

Octagon: Wha- (is poofed into a dark room)

Silena Riva: Camera: Activate. Room nine. (presses a button on her wristband, activating a TV.)

Octagon: (on the screen) Where is this? Wha-

D'Ablo: (steps out of the shadows and seats himself on a chair) Hello Octavian.

Octagon: Nico? What do you have to do with these wackos?

Zuria: EVERYTHING! He was my minion in the predecessor of Demigod Torture—I think it was called…Dare or Dare?

Silena Riva: (presses another button on her wristband, activating a studio mike)

Zuria: (blushes) Oh, he couldn't hear that.

Silena Riva: Choose your words carefully, little shape. We can hear and see everything.

Octagon: Oh! Uh, okay! Got it!

Zuria: D'Ablo, you know what to do.

D'Ablo: Got it Zuria. This is gonna be fun.

Octagon: Nico-

Vichic: D'Ablo!

Octagon: Oh, I mean, D'Ablo… what are you doing…?

D'Ablo: Hahaha… I've been waiting a while for this. (advances on Octagon)

Octagon: (backs into a corner) Oh, c'mon! Another corner?

Morgie: (switches off the TV as Octagon screams) I think that's enough for now…

Zuria: Aww! C'mon Morgie! Please?

Morgie: No. We have another guest to take care of, don't we?

ABC: Oh yeah!

Vichic: You're awake!

ABC: Duh. Well, we welcome PERCY, who Zuria summoned earlier.

Seaweed Brain: I was starting to think you forgot about me!

Morgie: Yeah Seaweed Brain. Like we would forget about your sorry butt.

Seaweed Brain: Hey! (steps forward, but sees Anti-Tooth) Holy friggin' Hestia, that's a big dog.

Zuria: Ari, meet Seaweed Brain.

Seaweed Brain: Why did you address the dog first?

Zuria: Because he's smarter than you. A well known fact to those of us with an IQ of over 3…

ABC: (vacant expression, drooling)

Zuria: I _think_ that includes ABC…

Anti-Tooth: (barks)

Zuria: Time for you to meet our friends at Hogwarts.

Seaweed Brain: Whaa…?

Morgie: Just get him on the plane, Tooth.

Anti-Tooth: (barks) (growls and backs Seaweed Brain into a portal)

Morgie: Good luck!

Silena Riva: Ok… let's watch the fun! (pushes button on her wristband: a TV swings out and shows Anti-Tooth and Seaweed Brain)

Seaweed Brain: Okay… (walks toward the plane) C'mon, let me go… (holds out a treat) Nice doggy…

Anti-Tooth: (barks and bares his teeth, but takes the treat anyways)

Seaweed Brain: Now are you gonna let me go?

Anti-Tooth: (barks)

Seaweed Brain: Alright! (starts to walk away)

Anti-Tooth: (growls and pushes Seaweed Brain aboard the plane)

Seaweed Brain: Hey!

Flight Attendant1: Welcome aboard, sir. No pets allowed.

Seaweed Brain: I-uh, my dog will just be going, ma'am. Go on, scat!

Anti-Tooth: (takes forgetful dust straight from the OTHER CHARACTER 5001—thing is, we stole it from Relda Grimm (Sisters Grimm) after we dragged her in. Then we shoved her back to Ferryport Landing—and throws it in the Flight Attendant's face)

Flight Attendant1: Excuse me?

Seaweed Brain: Not you! The dog!

Flight Attendant1: What dog?

Seaweed Brain: The-oh, never mind…

Flight Attendant1: Please take your seat.

Seaweed Brain: (sits down in the middle seat, left side)

Pilot: (over the radio) This is your captain speaking. Our estimated flight time is around three to four episodes, due to the fact that we have the pleasure of having Percy Jackson aboard today. So fasten your seat belts, and our flight attendants will be by to make the final preparations for takeoff.

Flight Attendants: (walking around and helping people get situated)

Flight Attendant1: (helping a big-game hunter stow his luggage in the overhead compartment) Sir, I think it might fit. I think I see a little more room in there… Sir? You have a dead yak. Are you sure that you do not want to check this…ah…item?

Big-Game Hunter: I am sure it will fit. (shoves dead yak a bit more) See? All better. (sits down)

Flight Attendant1: Uh, I guess that is alright, sir. (goes on down the aisle)

Flight Attendant2: (over the radio) Let's all take a moment to review the flight's safety procedures. There is a nice little pamphlet in the seat pocket in front of you. Please remove it and look at the first flap. In the case that this plane….. mnah, mnah, mnah…

Seaweed Brain: (spacing out) …-_-… (looking like ABC)

Co-Pilot: We are cleared for takeoff.

_So what happens next? It's up to you viewers to tell. I WON'T WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER 'TILL YOU REVIEW! Or at least until Silena/Zuria (co-authors, here) get an idea…_


	3. Episode 3 Percy and River grumble

**We got a new friend. We got a new host. We got a new episode! Now all we need…**

**IS A REVIEW!**

ABC: Hey, peeps! This is our special no-hosts-in-person episode. That means Zuria and Silena and our new friend, Isi. However, they _are_ going to be commenting, because they hid a speaker on me. Which I'm not too happy about, but, hey, if I get to torture Percy, bring it ON! *fazes off*

Zuria: *speaker cackling to life* So…that was strange. Hey, you! *snap and an "OW!"* Get in the teleportation machine and wake her up!

**Instantly a girl with long, stringy, strawberry blond hair apparates next to ABC. She's our new helper, Birdie. I would hug her, but at the moment…she's kind of slapping ABC**

Birdie: Hey! _Kind of?_ I think I AM!

Zuria: Sorr-ree!

Birdie: Whatever. *slaps ABC, making sure she comes to, then teleports back*

Isi: Why, hello! Heehee. I have nothing to say.

ABC: Can I have the scrambled eggs, please…? Oh, wait…hey, Percy!

Seaweed Brain: NOOOO! THEY FOLLOW ME!

ABC: *temporarily teleports away so people stare at Percy weirdly, then comes back* Mission 1 accomplished: Make people wary of Percy.

Seaweed Brain: *groan* You have a _list_…how many things are _on_ that list? Or do I not want to know?

ABC: Depends on what your definition of ouch is.

Seaweed Brain: Somewhere between "OW!" and "Holy fork that hurt like Hades! Aww, shoot, shoot, shoot, flame on, shoot! Trying to keep bad libbing to a minimum! OH, FORK!"

ABC: Then I better not tell you.

Isi: … No comment…

Seaweed Brain: Any idea when this is going to _end_?

ABC: This is my first time on a plane. We're going to Colorado! This is my first time out of state! So just deal with ABC the excited!

Seaweed Brain: Wait, you have a teleporting machine but you've never been out of state? Smart one.

ABC: Oh, be quiet.

Pilot: Stand by for takeoff. Stand by for Staying Alive.

Flight Attendants: *in a Glee-like manner, burst into unexpected and well-choreographed and yet so horrible and bright and happy song.* Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive! Un…like…Per…cy! Stayin' aliiiiiiiive!

Seaweed Brain: MAKE IT END!

ABC: What? We didn't plan this!

Flight Attendants: *sway and start to sing True Colors, and they could not get a worse person to sing the lead part* I see your true colors shining through! I see your true colors! And that's why I love you…

Seaweed Brain: There is no better name for this show…

ABC: Exactly. *fazes off*

Zuria: Okay, it's Vichic's turn.

Vichic: Joy. *apparates to ABC, slaps her, waves at the computer screen, leaves*

ABC: NO! DON'T HURT HIM!

Zuria: *snickering* Who wonders who she's talking about…?

ABC: Oh, shuddup, Zuria. You can be so freaking obnoxious sometimes.

Zuria: And you're surprised?

Silena Riva: *filing nails in a corner* Remember, this is Zuria you're talking to.

Zuria: *glaring at Silena Riva* You're _**nice.**_

Silena Riva: *smiling sweetly* I know.

Isi: **randomly pops in** Schmello! Goodbye! **pops out again**

ABC: Anyway, mission two is complete. Make sure Percy knows just how awesome we are.

Seaweed Brain: You guys have such big heads.

ABC: And you're surprised?

Seaweed Brain: Guess you're right.

ABC: News for you—I always am.

Seaweed Brain: Again, big head.

Isi: I know someone who's _almost_ always right…

Pilot: Standard flight time is 7 to 8 episodes.

Seaweed Brain: *groans* PLEEEEEEASE GODS NOOOOOO!

ABC: Mission three is complete. Make sure Percy is being tortured.

Seaweed Brain: Long list, huh?

ABC: Yup!

Seaweed Brain: *sigh*

ABC: Anyway, I think this has gone on long enough—and Zuria's burnt on ideas (she's actually writing this one, peeps), so she's gonna hand it over to Silena River or Isi…one of them.

Silena Riva: (Silena River here!) *tries to type something on her old clunker of a laptop* Gah! I can hardly type anything with this brace on! *takes brace off her wrist and starts typing again* Much better. *presses button and freezes ABC, Seaweed Brain, and their plane* Zuria, why do we have to be in this stale old room while ABC is on the luxury plane with Seaweed Brain?

Zuria: It's the no-hosts-in-person episode. Why were you wearing a brace?

Silena Riva: I got practically tackled during street hockey. Duh. *rolls eyes* But this sucks. I'm getting on that plane. *teleports onto the plane*

Zuria: Silena, no!

Silena Riva: *pulls out walkie-talkie she carries everywhere* Zuria, I never said _where_the plane was going. Psh, I'm going to Hawaii! *gives an evil laugh; speaker crackles and dies*

Zuria: Hawaii! So flipping unfair! Well, that's the end of her part in the episode, I guess. *presses button and unfreezes ABC, Seaweed Brain, and their plane*

Seaweed Brain: Wait, Zuria was writing this torture? And someone else is taking over? YES! *punches fist in the air*

Isi: uh… I don't get a say. Darn.

Silena Riva: *a voice enters everyone's heads* Hello. It is I, Silena River. Or Riva. Whatever. Yes, Seaweed Brain, Zuria is not writing this part, but I am.

Seaweed Brain: *gulps* I-I, um…

Silena Riva: Save it. But I am your sister, so I may go easy on you.

Seaweed Brain: *relaxes* Oh, okay. Good. I thought you were going to do something horrible to me.

ABC: Yeah, I thought you were going to do something horrible to him! C'mon!

Vichic: I want my money back!

Zuria: We don't pay you, and you never paid us.

Vichic: Yeah, but still…

Silena Riva: Oh, c'mon guys! He's my brother!

Zuria: *mutters under breath* It was a mistake to let her torture Percy…

Silena Riva: Jeez. May I remind you, it was my idea to put Percy in a plane.

Zuria: Hey! Well, I guess it was...but that doesn't change anything!

Silena Riva: Whatever…and I only said that I "may go easy on" him. It was not exactly a money-back guarantee.

Morgie: Oh good. For a second there I thought you were going to let him go.

Silena Riva: Psh. Naw, not at all. Alright, fire up the doohickey!

Zuria: *whispering questioningly* Doohickey?

Isi: … Doohickey?

Birdie: *apparates onto the plane and goes up to the cockpit* Alright boys. Let's see some turbulence. *hands them some money* You know what to do. *apparates away*

Zuria: BRIBERY! You are sinking to some new lows, Riv. *shaking head*

Pilot: *over the speakers* Excuse me folks. We are currently pulling into an unavoidable storm, and you are about to experience some turbulence. So please fasten your seatbelts, and enjoy the ride.

Seaweed Brain: Oh gods… Does the word family mean nothing to you people?

Zuria: You should hear what I do to my sister.

Silena Riva: Yeah. I'm treating you just like family, too. I torture my younger brother, so why can't I torture my older demigod brother too?

ABC: *laughs* You just got _served!_

Zuria: *chuckles* Buckle up, Percy. You're about to get shaken worse than those slushies on that insanely stupid "Slushie Magic" commercial. ABC, I recommend leaving.

ABC: Alright. *snaps fingers so she and other passengers disapparate*

Seaweed Brain: *clutches armrests in terror* Oh gods, I'm gonna die.

Zuria: No, that would be too good.

Co-Pilot: *speaking to Pilot* Alright, here we go! Let's shake this poor sucker's guts out.

Pilot: *speaking to Co-Pilot* Alright! *tips the plane into a steep nose-dive*

Seaweed Brain: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Storm: *creates a storm* Haha, this'll teach that arrogant child not to enter my domain!

Co-Pilot: *waves out the window* Thanks Zeus!

Storm: No problem, man.

Pilot: Oh, we may have bitten off more than we could chew.

Co-Pilot: *looks up from a sandwich* Whaa?

Pilot: I mean, the controls are starting to malfunction.

Seaweed Brain: A storm?

Storm: *flashes in* What?

Seaweed Brain: Nothing!

Storm: Stupid demigod. *slaps Percy then flashes out*

Seaweed Brain: *rubs his cheek* Oww…..

Isi: hah. Percy got slapped.

Zuria: Be happy you're not in an Anne Ursu book. She mauls those characters.

Pilot: *over the speakers* Well, it looks like we're all gonna die. Buckle up and pray to whatever gods you wish, because we'll hit the ground in T minus…three seconds.

Seaweed Brain: Ohgodsohgodsohgods!

Silena Riva: Wahoo! This is gonna be good!

_**FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! WILL PERCY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE? WILL SILENA SAVE HER BROTHER? STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT EPISODE! Coming soon.**_

Zuria: _Will_you save Percy?

Silena Riva: NO! How dare you doubt me! Cut the voice-over guy!

_**Wait, you guys! Don't-what are you doing with that-?**___*static*

Zuria: What? NO! That was Next Time, my emo boyfriend! NOOOOO!

Isi: HAH! I GET THE LAST SAY!

Zuria: Stop kidding yourself. OVERRULED!


End file.
